


Thanatos

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-08
Updated: 2006-03-08
Packaged: 2018-08-16 04:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8086303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Trip wishes it didn't hurt so bad. (06/07/2004)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: This is an AU dealing with Trip and a female Malcolm Reed (Mallory). I plan on writing a longer story on them in the near future if I can find the time. Oh, and Thanatos is the Greek god of death.  


* * *

You listen as she tells you she'll be fine. But she won't be, and you know it, and you just wish you could let go of that image of her coming down off of the transporter, T'Pol behind her, and her screaming at them to don't touch her. She tells you she'll be fine, but what about you?

All of you were standing there, watching the scientists. The captain left first, and Mayweather and Sato followed. You did too. She and T'Pol were left there, watching in scientific and tactical curiosity. You hate yourself for leaving, for tossing a "see you later" over your shoulder and not going to her and hugging her and saying "I love you" to her for the first time.

So you wish you never went back to the ship. You wish you stayed there, with her. You wish it were you who went through the window, and not her. But part of you knows that you probably couldn't have gone through with it and she would have done it anyway because you would have been too scared and you hate yourself for that too.

She says she'll be fine again and tells you to just let go. But she won't and you can't and you love her just too damn much to say and she'll never know and you want to go with her. You think about her sitting on the bed again and it breaks your heart.

Playing with an instrument, you listened to her as she told you what would happen. You looked up, horrified, as she said the bit about bleeding to death if she didn't drown in her own blood and fluids. Your eyes were trapped in hers then and you knew she was frightened and scared and feeling like a child at the prospect of drowning. You wanted to hug her and tell her it was all right, but you couldn't and you didn't. You just put your hand next to hers and hoped she knew.

Again and again, she tells you she'll be fine, that she needs you to let her go. You close your eyes and she tells you once more that she'll be fine. You look at her again. She says that she'll be fine. And you want to believe her, more than anything else you've ever wanted. So you do.

You just wish it didn't hurt so bad.


End file.
